Hm, no mood, food, or crude today, I need to head over to AAA's (Andrew, amanda and little andrews) =)
This week was spectacular. I was given the opportunity to see my favorite Paris folk. Paris Texas. Maybe not so cool to you as the "real" Paris, but it makes me more happy than any other place.
I can't ever go there without feeling like I am actually one of the family, and not just one family, but several. Jones's, Vaughn's, Franklands. It's great. Not many people know this but I struggled a lot growing up with feeling out of place. Like I didn't belong, I know it's stupid, but most of that stemmed from being the only kid with actual color on his skin. Most of my homeschool groups consisted of tight wad stick up their arse white kids who didn't know relationship from religionship (or religionshit). I guess some of those old feelings stuck, because words cannot describe the feelings I have when I go to Paris. All the love, the learning, the teaching, the growing and connecting. It's not something everyone who lives experiences.
From happy hour (sonic) trips, to walks with new friends, all the way to being welcomed into a family that I had never met, I'd have to say it was a great week.
Though there was all that love, I know I didn't spend as much time with God the father as I usually do. I was just so caught up in all my friends being around me I almost forgot how lovely and fulfilling a conversation with my daddy could be. It's all better now, I just know that there were some missed opportunities because of my lack of discipline to stay connected with Adonai.
Then there is the animosity between a good friend of mine and the family who I stayed with this week. I only felt awkward when his name was brought up, but one of them in particular is having a very hard time forgiving him. I can't blame her, she loves her brother, I just...I just wish he knew the web of friends he created and how his decisions set fire to that very web, burning and hurting all those intertwined within it.
Prayer prayer prayer. That always works. Period.
God you are my portion forever. I will be content with you and you will give me the wife of my youth when YOU see fit. I love you and will always seek after that love first, second, and last. You are the only love I seek.
