The Name(s) (above all names)

The Lamb that was slain
Blood drips from His Mane
Hear His mighty roar
in the Rain that is His name
He will downpour
but not be shaken
For He is the Rock
do not be mistaken
He is ruled by no clock
For He rules all of time
as He Shepherd's His flock
He is the Shrine we look up to
knowing that Sin is beat
and Death - Defeat
by the powerful Physician
who is in the position
Paying no tuition other than Blood
He died. Oh El Shaddai
You are the Adonai
The Giver and Healer
the Lover and the Sealer
of the promise.
These are the Names to Praise Him.
Elohim,
sometimes revealed in a dream
serving the winning Team
He is the King of Kings.
The Lord of Lords
is to be adored
Yeshua and Immanuel
Over comer of Hell.
Alpha and Omega
the First and the Last
Lover before there was Past
Hope of the earth
after the Future
giving us worth
healing our sutures.
These are the Names to Praise Him.
You are the Word
to be heard
forever we are safe
for You even feed the birds
No longer a waif.
I call you Savior
but you are Creator
and in my behavior
I will not waiver
and when I do
you find favor in me.
The ultimate Priest, Jesus
You slay the beast
we hunger for You God
The satisfying Feast
To Jehovah we applaud
The Prince of Peace.
The Husband and Father
Conquering the grave
You are the Son sent to save
and You pave the way down this narrow path.
After the aftermath of Your wrath
in Truth I stand
Abba,
Author and Bread of Life
You are no knife
But rather The Sword
The Harpsichord of Holiness
Comforter, Commander, Christ.
These are the Names to Praise Him.
All Consuming Fire
You never grow tired
being the Cornerstone in which we rest our faith.
Deliverer and Gentle Whisper
Holy Spirit guide me
Light of the World provide me
Messiah and Leader.
Master when I'm cold be my Heater.
Mold me like clay
Oh Ancient of Days
be my Rabbi and say
here you stand
know that I AM.

My Deluge

1st day working in the rain -

Andrew and I got to the first house we were gonna mow the lawn for. It was looking like it might pour, so we sat in the car hoping to wait it out so we could go home early. Lady luck was laughed in our faces until we finally sulked out of the car. Trudging towards the trailer to take out the mower and weed eater I could hear a faint....static sound. Almost like white noise in the distance, calling for attention. It wasn't until I unlocked the trailer door that I looked up. That's when I saw a wall of thousands of water droplets rushing towards us. After only a second of hesitation I quickly ran for my life back to the truck, leaving andrew (wearing headphones), bewildered, to his watery fate. The deluge hit me right as I jumped in the truck, andrew...was not so fortunate. When he finally jumped in he was dripping wet. It was amazingly awesome. This onslaught of hydrogen and oxygen kept us at bay in our safe-house of a truck for the next thirty minutes. We called our boss and he told us to go work other jobs and come back.

2nd day of working in the rain -

So many frog deaths in one day. The last rain spawned forth an army of frogs that I'm sure in numbers, rivaled what Moses called forth some thousands of years ago. My weather map told us rain was on it's way, another early day is what corey, andrew and I were hoping for. What we were NOT hoping for or even expecting was the massive amount of frogs there were. Sadly, with my weed eater I killed several small frogs. Chopping in half, splitting open and decapitating the little babies was quite rough. I could feel my soul knotting up. Then some fat, doofus toad decided it would be a good idea to hop IN-BETWEEN my spinning strings of death, from behind a tree. All I saw was a huge toad fall into my weed eater, then get shot back like a rocket in between my legs. I stopped working and stood there, horrified and unwilling to look back at the carnage that resided just behind me.
That's when it started pouring. The rain broke one of the blowers, so when I finished weed eating I noticed nobody else was done mowing, so I had to blow. If you've ever tried blowing off thousands of pieces of WET grass off a drive way...it's not easy. It takes forever and all the while the rain relentlessly continued it's barrage from above. 1st rain day > 2nd rain day. But it was nice just being able to...be still. I may had been working and grass may had been blown in my face all day, but when no one can hear you, and you can't scream loud enough for a listening ear to pick you up...you feel free. Free to let your mind relax, run on auto pilot for a bit while you sort things out with God. It was a good time.

Rain rain go away by Breaking Benjamin just came on my shuffle

My Time Wasted

"Girls are stupid, they should have rocks thrown at their heads."

I somewhat miss when the puppy love heartbreaks were the hardest things going on. When the greatest and highest law of life was that your mom had to drive you around to where ever you wanted to go. Back when I would run through the highschool hallways because I was late for class and run into people like anna hill, rebecca campbell, brian purkiss and others.

Life was so simple back then. The only worries I had was getting my homework done so I could call my friends before it was bedtime. Countless sleepless nights spent finishing procrastinated spanish homework. Persecuting parentals plagued my person.

Now I have a job that pays for my car, gas, phone, (soon rent and food), school full time and hopefully a social life.

I really did take for granted the time I had when I was in highschool.

*le sigh*

I haven't read my bible today, maybe thats why I'm so pissed off.
Or maybe the realities of life are finally catching up to me and I did nothing to prepare for them...

My Deaths

In every path you choose
Your life, you'll loose

May it be towards self
life, you now place on the shelf

But be it towards Christ
In your death you gain life

These roads are side by side
one is narrow, one is wide

Make the time now, the time to choose
Give up your life, so death you'll lose.

My Door

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, rather than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

For those of you who don't know who that is, he was the 'leader' of the band "Nirvana". He ended up blowing his brains out after their first album, which hit number one spots on many radio stations.

Statistically speaking, the majority of psychologists have serious issues themselves that they work out with shrinks, doctors and meds.

My old bible study leader was an amazing speaker. Someone who was driven by the Holy Spirit and loved the Lord with all her heart. She knew her scripture because she knew her Lord.
She suffered heavy depression and dealt with it on a regular basis. That didn't make her any less of a great teacher.

Sometimes lessons that make us our strongest must first make us our weakest.

David - A great King of Isreal; Today we would call him a sexual offender.

Job - A light for everyone to have faith; Today the world would accept him as someone who doesn't deal with their problems and in need of psychological help.

Moses - A leader chosen by God; Today the world would criticize his stutter and tell him he should write a self help book instead.

Sarah - God told her she would have a baby, even at her old age she kept the faith in His promises; Today the world would tell her to give up, it's physically impossible. Then they would marvel at the "medical breakthrough" of her having a child and then make sure she had people who would take care of their child after their "soon to be" deaths from age.

We know God wouldn't give them a child unless he prepared them to be able to raise him right.


What this world says is not helpful, God makes perfect. Beautiful. "Don't let anyone bring you down because you are young"
I (not adding to the Word) say don't let anyone bring you down, EVER. God doesn't use us like we are, we suck. Pieces of filth. It is only after we give up our weaknesses to Him does He send us on missions. Missions to save lives, rescue people from this dying world.

If you love Jesus, you are born twice and die once.
If you don't, you are born once...and die twice.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, I think because of recent events taking place, being as weak as I am right now, I just need to write this down to assure myself that God is working amazing things in me and my friends.
It's truth. Even if I'm being a little hysterical. I know His promises never fail.

My Storm

Hannah sits beside me, Rachel's melodious voice bounces off the empty walls, my new friend Alex attempts to make the Marte's tv produce sound. It's already a fun night.

Today was a long and muggy day. After I was able to block out the sounds of bugs buzzing by my ears, the day became almost...peaceful. A great time for thought. Peaceful pastime . Tranquil treaty. Captivating conciliation.

There was a rather tempestuous storm last night. It was quite suprising. I left walgreens after buying ragu spaghetti sauce for my already made spaghetti. The wind seemed to be picking up I noticed but didn't pay attention to. While I eating my dinner, weather reports would come on about an approaching storm. Still not taking too much notice to the oncoming shower, I continued my peaceful dinner. Then a branch broke off a tree in my backyard. I realized how real the storm was and thought back on the weather reports and how much purple there was over my little section of San Antonio.
I quickly ran outside and watched as the midnight blue clouds rolled in, on and seemingly over my house. Lightning struck closer and closer towards my house as my face began to be pelted with over thirty mile an hour winds. A green and yellow glow was seen within the trees not half a mile from my house. A power generator blew. I quickly ran inside to check my lights and of course, power was out. It was great. The torrential rain started to beat my house as if my humble abode somehow wronged the approaching storm. A clash of the titans in the heavens would do this storm justice, and just like that, it was over. A pure fresh smell fill the air as I stepped out into what looked like a battle, just barely finished, amongst Ents. The sky seemed... cleaner. Though there was damage to my neighborhood, everything was at ease. The warmth of the air and the coolness of the breeze was a feeling unlike any other.

A lot of times our Christian walk can take on this same face, only spiritually. Storms can roll into our lives unexpectedly, we can marvel at how powerful it really is, take cover, weather it and when it's over... Peace. A storm passed always leaves what it just destroyed pure. We can get so caught up in the storm and not even notice how peaceful and pure everything around us now is. I'd like to say that I take this thought to heart after every "storm" or "battle" in my life, but I don't. I thank God that I was able to witness all of this and for the time at work to ponder on such events. I know I grow, just from what God has already made. Cool.

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?
-Rose Kennedy

My Week

Hm, no mood, food, or crude today, I need to head over to AAA's (Andrew, amanda and little andrews) =)

This week was spectacular. I was given the opportunity to see my favorite Paris folk. Paris Texas. Maybe not so cool to you as the "real" Paris, but it makes me more happy than any other place.

I can't ever go there without feeling like I am actually one of the family, and not just one family, but several. Jones's, Vaughn's, Franklands. It's great. Not many people know this but I struggled a lot growing up with feeling out of place. Like I didn't belong, I know it's stupid, but most of that stemmed from being the only kid with actual color on his skin. Most of my homeschool groups consisted of tight wad stick up their arse white kids who didn't know relationship from religionship (or religionshit). I guess some of those old feelings stuck, because words cannot describe the feelings I have when I go to Paris. All the love, the learning, the teaching, the growing and connecting. It's not something everyone who lives experiences.

From happy hour (sonic) trips, to walks with new friends, all the way to being welcomed into a family that I had never met, I'd have to say it was a great week.

Though there was all that love, I know I didn't spend as much time with God the father as I usually do. I was just so caught up in all my friends being around me I almost forgot how lovely and fulfilling a conversation with my daddy could be. It's all better now, I just know that there were some missed opportunities because of my lack of discipline to stay connected with Adonai.

Then there is the animosity between a good friend of mine and the family who I stayed with this week. I only felt awkward when his name was brought up, but one of them in particular is having a very hard time forgiving him. I can't blame her, she loves her brother, I just...I just wish he knew the web of friends he created and how his decisions set fire to that very web, burning and hurting all those intertwined within it.

Prayer prayer prayer. That always works. Period.

God you are my portion forever. I will be content with you and you will give me the wife of my youth when YOU see fit. I love you and will always seek after that love first, second, and last. You are the only love I seek.