My Physician

Mood: Ecstatic Food: Co Co Puffs Crude: Uranus

It is three in the morning, I say goodnight to camfrog and go into my bedroom for round two with my arch nemesis - Sleep. The alarm goes off what seems like seconds later. 5:01 and I'm up and in the shower.
I had to visit the docs office today. If you know me, I am not a fan of docs. Not a fan of medicine, not a fan of prescription, not a fan of awkward physicals with hott doctors.
Not all was lost because it was a voluntary decision to visit, for it was for a study which upon leaving the screening i would walk away with a solid 50 dollars. Holla. Gas money for five days! Hells yea!
It's some Medical Study screening to see if you are capable in participating in the study and for the majority of it, it was quite awkward. Me not being an awkward person this only solidifies the statement.
Medical Study (6:30 AM)
Never had done one before, a study that is. They stuck us all in a room like guinea pigs with chairs so close together I can tell who managed to grab a stick of deodorant before leaving their humble abodes. One of the lady's name tags was upside down. Greeting fail.
I was the youngest there, by far. Was that just me getting a head start on life? People who were older and wiser were going to earn some extra dough? Maybe that's how families make it with our crippling economy.
Or was I stuck in a confined room filled with "Wal-mart" empolyees who just got off the creepy night shifts? Eh, Whatever
I had brought too many forms of intertainment. iPod, phone, book, two journals, news paper. Choices, I think when we have too much to choose from that we become indecisive.
7:30
They took my temperature...orally. Thank God. I know it seems quite ridiculous that they would do it any other way, but so far, this entire escapade of mine has been filled with oddities. Seroiusly, if an icecream truck filled with living knomes who handed out battle axes made of candle wax landed in the room, it would have made more sense than the tests they were putting us through and the questions they were asking. Out of pure bordem I decided to mess with the nurse.
Nurse: So do you suffer from amnesia?
Me: I don't remember what that is.
Nurse: Well, when you get older your brain begins to...
Me:No, I don't remember what that is...
Nurse: Oh! hahah stop it! Anyway, next question. Do you have sight problems?
Me: No mam.
Nurse: Do you have trouble hearing?
Me: What?
Nurse: Do you have trouble hearing?
Me:What?
Nurse: hahah stop it!

The density of her skull amazed me.
8:00
Urine Sample. They probably have cameras in the bathroom to make sure you don't fill the bottle with apple juice. Sneaky bastards.
Next is taking blood. I've never had blood drawn (and was not drugged up on morphine, unconscious) before today and truth be told, I was scared. A frightened fear doesn't describe it, it was more like an unsure child about to do something unknown to him. Always had a problem with needles.
my breathing becomes erratic,
my thoughts drift constantly towards fear without boundaries.
It is my turn
.....

8:15
Kaplah (which is Klingon for 'sucess')! Somewhat. Got a little light headed after the first time she stuck me. Ya, that's right, FIRST TIME getting blood drawn and I get to get freakin Intern Nurse! So she called over a more expierienced nurse because "his vein keeps moving". Oh ya, my fault that you keep stabbing my poor defensless arm in an attempt to vampire it. Thanks ITT Tech, you trained a nurse who is hell bent on making me look like an addict.
8:40
Hott doctor gave me a physical, only from the face to the shoulders, no action for me. Plus she is married, but strangly was not wearing a wedding ring. Hmmm.

All worth it when they handed me the fifty dollar check that I earned from slaying the bordom monster, fighting off crazies from wal mart, peeing in a cup, and being attacked by an assassin nurse with a very visible tattoo. Ya, super south side.